Dirty Martini Labneh

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Okay, so I know this Dirty Martini Labneh isn’t going to win any popularity contests anytime soon. But if you happen to be a dirty martini fan and your favorite garnish is blue cheese-stuffed olives, then welcome to heaven. I realize this is a fairly niche market. But even niches deserve some individualized attention. This dip features homemade garlic-spiked labneh blended with creamy gorgonzola cheese kissed with honey, gin, and dry vermouth. The dish is finished with a smattering of green olives, lemon zest, and finely chopped parsley. And this dip does its best work when paired with cream crackers. I mean, any cracker you fancy will do, it’s not an order per se. But it is a, um, forceful recommendation.

It doesn’t get more polarizing than blue cheese and olives. As a child, I hated them both. But I was also fascinated by them. I thought they were peak sophistication, and I hoped that I would grow into them. In much the same way I coveted other hallmarks of adulthood, I looked at olives and, um, stinky cheeses of all stripes as markers of maturity. And as the youngest of my family, my mission to prove myself as a sophisticate ran deep. 

I more or less trained myself to love olives. How did I do it? Well, I didn’t know it at the time, but I basically practiced exposure therapy. I suffered my way through countless olives over several years before I ate the olive that no longer irked me. It was still a few more years before I ate one that I truly enjoyed, but once I got it, I really got it. Blue cheese didn’t come as easily for me. I actually thought it was a dislike I was going to have to accept. But Cambazola proved to be my gateway drug.

For the uninitiated, Cambazola is a soft German cheese that combines the characteristics of Camembert and Gorgonzola. Its texture is very much akin to camembert, which I’ve always loved, but the flavor is that of a mild blue. Cambozola on a water cracker with a drizzle of honey was the first canapé that made me rethink this whole “I hate blue cheese” thing. 

After Cambozola came Gorgonzola, which is admittedly a big jump both in terms of texture and flavour. But as blues go, I do think Gorgonzola is among the more accessible. Its creamy texture has a lot to do with that. But I must admit, the saltiness and piquant flavor were initially off-putting. I think I mentioned this in my Gorgonzola Gnocchi article, but if you’re still on the fence about blue cheese, give a Gorgonzola Dolce a try. It’s a younger gorgonzola and is significantly less pungent. And I have found that a kiss of honey works wonders for tempering the saltiness of the cheese, and it also mellows out the stronger flavours. You can also try pairing it with figs, pecans, or other sweet jams. It definitely plays well with others. 

Now, I realize that it might seem crazy to train oneself to like things you don’t naturally like. And yes, that is a fair assessment. I never claimed to be sane. Learning to love food you don’t like isn’t a necessity. Heck! I don’t know if I even recommend it. There are so many different flavours and textures in this world to enjoy; a slight narrowing of that path might actually be helpful. But for me, I don’t like missing out on experiences. I want to understand what people get out of every experience and/or morsel. And if I don’t get the appeal on the first go around, then I don’t mind trying again…and again.

A lot of the foods I love the most now were not something I would have reached for, even in my teens. Raw oysters spring to mind. If I hadn’t made a concerted effort to find and appreciate the attributes that so many others loved, then I might have missed out on some of my favourite food memories. But at the end of the day, like what you like. Leave what you don’t. You don’t have to approach eating and enjoying food like some sort of puzzle to solve. I, for some reason, do, but that’s my cross to bear.

Okay, enough yapping, let’s talk about this Dirty Martini Labneh. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about process because frankly, it’s pretty straightforward. I will urge you to use two layers of cheesecloth when straining your labneh, though. We want the yogurt to drain, not slowly seep out. And don’t leave your labneh to drain for more than three hours. Any longer than that and the yogurt will be almost too thick. We need a little moisture to smooth out the gorgonzola.

You will be happy to know that this Dirty Martini Labneh can be made well in advance, and leftovers keep extremely well in the fridge. Just be sure to top your labneh just before serving for maximum visual impact. And as I mentioned, this dip’s natural companion is a stack of cream crackers. These are Purity brand cream crackers (not sponsored). They hail from Newfoundland, and they are simply the best cream crackers I’ve ever had. If you can’t locate them, don’t sweat it! Any cream cracker will do. I also think a digestive would be amazing with this. So yeah, think rich, earthy, and a little bit sweet, and you’ll have a quality cracker pairing for this dip. 

And that’s everything you need to know about this Dirty Martini Labneh. It is admittedly an acquired taste, but if you’re a fan of blue cheese and olives, I know you’re going to love this.

Enjoy!